Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Please say a prayer for my coworker. His life is so boring that he just Instagrammed his Jimmy Johns sandwich
I put a dollar in one of those change machines once. Nothing changed.
The problem with the world today is that intelligent people are too smart to have children.
Sometimes I wish I could officially change "Hump Day" into "Smack-A-Dumb-Bitch-In-The-Face" Day.
Having a bit of a lazy day! I`m sitting in my underwear looking for better jobs online ... My boss doesn`t look amused.
If it was the other way around, I doubt one cat would take in 23 old ladies.
Single ladies, stop saying you should just give up & get a cat , if no man wants you , don`t force an innocent cat to live with you..
Life`s most terrifying 10 seconds: Being held hostage in the corner of the shower by cold water.
Maybe this comment wont be important for you guys here. Some of you will ignore it, most of yall wont bother to read and it`ll go unnoticed along with some others. maybe I`ll be criticized for this but I just want to let yall know I`m selling potatoes
Why do they leave folding chairs so close to the wrestling ring? Shouldn’t the maintenance staff have learned their lesson by now?
I can eat a piece of pie without a plate or a fork what else should I write on this dating site profile?
I wish tanning beds could pop you out like a toaster when you`re finished.
Tequila is Spanish for I’m open to waking up anywhere.
roses are red,violets are blue,god made me beautiful, what happen to you..
All units be on the lookout, suspect is armed with hunky shoulders, soft eyes and dreamboat hair. I don`t even remember what he did anymore.