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Life can be like Chess sometimes. I don`t know how to play Chess.
I enjoy shopping online because at least I don`t have to act all shocked when my credit card gets declined.
some people just need a hug...around the neck...with a rope!!
i hate not being able to correct the typo i just made in my previous statues update......DAMN IT! I JUST DID IT AGAIN!
Why would I buy a pumpkin at the store for $5 when I can drive 30 miles and pay to walk through a field to pick our own for $27.
Just found a hole in my sock and now I`m worried that the whole drawer might be pregnant.
I bet the guy who invented fake dog poo was upset the name "shampoo" was taken
Seagull Manager; Someone who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everyone and then leaves.
This bald spot just appeared out of thin hair.
Just picked the remote up off the floor with my foot while laying on the sofa so I guess today is leg day.
never tell a lie...unless it is true
Remember, I`m always here if you need shoulders for your ankles to lie on.
I don`t understand why I cant lose weight. I thought dieting was a piece of cake.
I`ve given up on giving up.
I got kicked out of a fancy dress party on the weekend, because I was wearing nothing but a red shirt. Not my fault nobody has heard of Winnie the Pooh!!