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I’m giving up on the silent treatment. ...Going to start talking to myself again.
I hate it when I put a status and you don`t like it,example this one.
If you think your wife is crazy now. Wait untill you divorce her.
Time is precious ... waste it wisely!
Guy test! find the nearest guy by you and repeat to him the following slowly: Door knob, Titanic, Gluestick, Kiwi, Opra Winfey, Shovel, Boobs, Remote, Battery, Furby, Glowstick, Beer, & Xbox. NOW ask him what he remembers before "Boobs"
If you`re really really quiet, you can hear yourself doing the world a favor.
Half of me is a hopeless romantic. And the other half of me is, well, an asshole.
Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote? You still have to get up & take the disc out. It`s like having a remote to open the fridge.
Studies show that people who want tribal tattoos are directly related to living under a rock
Whoever said “two wrongs don’t make a right” has obviously never experienced McDonalds breakfast after a night of binge drinking.
It’s amazing how everyone cries for free speech until someone says something that they don’t like.
You`re never too old to ride in a radio flyer wagon but apparently you can be too fat.
What I lack in vocabulary, I make up for in…you know...stuff...and...things...
Daylight Saving Time rocks. It even makes laziness sound impressive. I did nothing for 24 hours? Not today. I did nothing for 25 hours!
What was that idiot thinking when he invented white underwear?