Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My password is SupermanHulkThorGoku, that`s the strongest password I can think of.
Dogs lick each other`s butts to tell each other they like them. Just like politicians
I`m going to hell in every religion!
I woke up this morning with a glass of water on my bedside table with a note saying “for hungover me” I drank it and it was vodka. Drunk me can be such an asshole!
It takes two people to lie....one to lie.....the other to listen
If you’re having second thoughts, you’re two ahead of most people.
Based on how I react when the toast pops out of the toaster, I will never look cool walking away from an explosion.
Pretty much always 3-5 seconds away from just laying down wherever I am.
The one thing women don`t want to find in their stockings on christmas morning is their husband
wants to rock and roll all night
It’s funny how 1 text, 1 song, 1 mistake, 1 lie, 1 truth, and 1 person could change your mood in 1 second.
I don`t drink to forget my problems. I drink because I survived them!
They say you are what you eat but I don’t remember eating a sexy beast.
What do 95% of men do after an orgasm? Delete their browser history.
How much tequila goes into mashed potatoes again?