Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Talking to you makes me invent new swear words.
If history has taught us anything, it’s that reheated french fries are gross.
I had to explain the Goonies today... so I`m feeling super old and bitter.
you know that awkward moment when you think someone`s talking to you so you reply to them and then they look over at you with that disgusted facial expression that says "wtf ..no"
Here`s a crazy concept, maybe I`m not in a bad mood, angry, or a bitch. Maybe I said it because it`s true and I meant it. Marinate on that.
I know she`s talking about rain but I don`t like hearing my mom say she got 6 inches
Do not keep all your work for tomorrow, always remember you can also do it the day after tomorrow.. Be lazy, Think crazy.
Anybody else have those FB friends that set up a FB account 4 years ago and posted once or twice and hasn`t been back on since? And you wonder how they can exist without a Life?
"Half a dozen" because saying `6` is way too long...
Research shows that when someone shouts "Oh no he didn`t!" he infact did.
If I laugh randomly when you are talking to me, don`t worry, the voices are telling me jokes.
Babies are really cute until you meet one that`s not a picture.
Work is one long game of back and forth emails with cleverly disguised f*ck you`s.
I`d explain it to you again but I`m fresh out of crayons and puppets
I drive safer when there`s food on my passenger seat than when there`s a person sitting there.