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Finally 21 and now legally able to do things which i have been doing since 15….
How can we call ourselves "evolved" when signs are needed to remind people to wash their hands after they go to the bathroom
My smoke detectors are always cheering me on for being such a great cook.
they say "money cant buy happiness" but money pays for my internet connection and my vodka so im thinking maybe "they" are wrong
Does anyone else have a plastic bag full of plastic bags in their house, or is it just me?
Think about what last call would look like if Walmart had a bar
Under no circumstances shall a call be made to another male after 2 a.m., unless its to get bailed out of jail.
Just spent the last 30 minutes cutting a Batman mask off the back of a box of Honey Nut Cheerios & my kid thinks he`s gonna get to wear it.
It`s so hard being a single mom when you have no kids and are a male teenager.
My therapist says I am too preoccupied by vengeance.... We`ll see about that.
"When I grow up, I want to marry a man addicted to video games" ~ No woman ever.
Campers: Nature`s way of feeding mosquitoes.
When I was a kid, there was no Internet. Sometimes people would walk for miles to call me a bastard.
I deserve an Oscar for my performance in "Holy crap this is a terrible gift but I`ll pretend to love it."
If you weren`t supposed to eat 15 Oreos in one sitting, they wouldn`t package them in rows of 15.