Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I`ve spent my whole life trying to find a girl with a psychiatric disorder that makes her think she`s a woodpecker.
The only thing I understand about Algebra: I look at my X and I wonder Y
Once you commit to the idea of a closed casket funeral it really takes a lot of pressure off how you live your life.
Never give up on your dreams, keep sleeping.
I always stip to help women broke down. I don`t know sh!t about cars, but I do know how a good porn starts off.
Have you ever noticed how people who play candy crush are always saying they need a life?
gets drunk on one drink. The trouble is, I can´t remember if it´s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
It’s called sarcasm, and it confuses stupid people.
She texted me: "your adorable." I replied: "no, YOU`RE adorable." Now she likes me, but all I did was point out her typo.
Never underestimate the power of the web. -Charlotte
No thanks, Inspirational guy, but I am only on Facebook for the jokes and the meltdowns.
You know you had an awesome night when you need sunglasses to get food out the fridge.
People in sleeping bags are the soft tacos of the bear world.
Ever notice how many friends you have when you pull out a pack of gum?