Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Man, this Trojan gum I bought tastes terrible ... Blows amazing bubbles though
I hope I’m the last guy on earth — I wanna see if all those women were lying to me.
some people just need a hug...around the neck...with a rope!!
The hardest thing about looking for work is the sobriety.
I`m not saying women are smarter than men, but it`s kinda ironic that there`s so few known women serial killers and so many unsolved murders.
I`m pretty sure if someone broke into my house, my dog would just show them how much he likes to lick his balls
Empty your medicine cabinet and put another mirror in there. Scares the hell out of snooping house guests.
After meeting me... my therapist is now in therapy...
When someone says I love you over the phone and you don`t feel the same, just say `I love youtube` but say it really fast!
I saw the city workers putting up a sign on my street and it says Bumpy road ... so I put up a sign that says ,, FIX IT !
Sometimes it’s just better to buy new Tupperware than to risk opening the leftovers.
I have very poor ninja skills when it comes to staring at cleavage.
I don`t get why girls get so offended by sexist jokes..I think they are just ovary-acting. Seriously..
Dear vegetarians, thanks for saving all the good food for us.
I give up on life! I have better luck playing Monopoly...or Clue...