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How is it possible that we have one hand that can do everything while the other hand is all, “I can’t even hold a pencil”?
I`ve had like 10 red bulls, so of course I`m vacuuming the front yard.
Sometimes I feel bad about the things I say and do, but today is not one of those days.
Yawning is our body`s way of saying 20% of battery remaining
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels. LOL. But on the up side, it is fun!! ;)
I was asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently, "A way out" wasn`t the right answer.
Never make an arm wrestle bet with a guy who has been single for longer than 6 months.
If you don’t cuss when you drive you aren’t paying enough attention to the road.
My favorite part of the movie The Notebook is where I turned it off and watched Terminator 2 instead.
I was planning to do something today, but I haven’t finished doing nothing from yesterday.
The ultimate home security system is having shitty stuff.
If you still can read this, please inform me ASAP because I have probably blocked the wrong person!
Anyone else find it odd that on Star Trek, when they "boldly go where no one has gone before" they always end up meeting someone?
You know it`s been a good night when you wake up and see bite marks on the walls...
There are weight limits on car seats, airlines, skydiving, military, horseback riding, kayaks, and bikes……how is it there are no weight limit on high heels?