Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I like to finish all of my drive thru orders with, "And that`s for here."
Condom slogan: Wrap it in latex or she`ll get your paychecks.
Meditation never worked for me, so I tried something even better..."Beditation"! You lay down close your eyes and you wake up an hour and a half later!
Thank you Pringles for being the only chip company that doesn`t sell air.
Dear YouTube, I will always “Skip this ad.”
Stop, drop, and roll isn`t just an effective fire safety tip, but it is also an interesting way to get out of a boring conversation.
If she is still able to walk to the kitchen after s@x , you don`t deserve a sandwich.
There is no one more trustworthy than Clark Kent`s dry cleaner.
You are right when you realize you were wrong.
If you don’t like my sense of humor please tell me… so I can laugh at you!
I`ll never fall in love untill and unless love falls on me!
Whenever I see a woman breastfeeding in public, my first reaction is to get in line.
From now on when I accept a friend request I`ll just write on their wall: You belong to me now.
Not to get technical, but according to chemistry, alcohol is a solution.
You can get away with farting at the zoo because you can always blame the animals...