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I`ve decided to go my own way and think "inside the box" to be different ... Wow its dark in here!
It`s all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship`s kitchen.
I`m gonna open a bar and name it Rehab.....
Sometimes all you need, is 500 million dollars.
Yes, bitches be trippin’ but maybe I pushed one.
Fun Fact: For the cost of a dozen red roses, you could also get a dozen beers and a dozen wings at happy hour. Prob even pay for parking too
the only correct answer to are u ticklish? is i have explosive diareha right now
I have the worst case of morning sickness. No I am not pregnant, my body just rejects mornings.
Whoever said you can`t "like" your own status is just not awesome enough to do it.
Forgets to set alarm, wakes up 3 days later.
According to maxipad commercials, all women are full of blue windshield washer fluid...
Apparently putting alka seltzers in my pockets while getting baptized and pretending I`m possessed by the devil is not funny.
Just hired two Private Investigators to follow each other. I`ll keep you posted......
Never be mean to nerds. You never know, one day you might be working for them!
My 5 year plan includes purchasing a Slurpee machine.