Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
According to a recent survey, 98% of people responded with `Go away.`
Everything you paid $50,000 to learn in college is now on the Internet for free.
That`s a horrible idea ... What time?
Damn girl, are you a Snickers bar, because you`re so sweet and satisfying and surprisingly hard and ... hold on, are those nuts?
Sunglasses: I don’t want to make awkward eye contact with certain people.
A boob job sounds like the best job in the world.
Today I learned that not all people like ventriloquists. Particularly my gynecologist.
Siblings – the only people who will pick on you and then kick the a$$es of anyone else who does it.
No one ever reads the rules of Monopoly unless an argument breaks out.
A guy at work calls me "Partner" and another guy calls me "Chief". Apparently we`re playing Cowboys and Indians and I`m a double agent.
Wind chimes? I can`t see myself saying, its too quiet, you know what`d be nice? Noise.
After spending the last week stealing cars and killing people I just found out GTA had missions.
At what number beer are you offically not working from home anymore?
I think the saying "every man for himself" was made up by women tired of making sandwiches.
If I didn’t drink, how would my friends know I loved them at 2AM?