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Men look at boobs for the same reason women look at puppies in a cage, we just want to set them free.
I’m at Code 5 today. I don’t know. It’s something this lady in the coffee shop said and I liked it. So now I’m using it, too.
Some marriages end up fine, the others last forever.
If I ever only have 3 months to live, I want my ex wife to be with me. That would be the longest 3 months of my life.
so far so good.... no unexpected father`s day cards or presents!
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
Until they get this spell-check problem with the iPhone fixed, it would be best not to text your wife and tell her she is looking fit.
Roses are red, violets are blue, sandwiches are tasty, rhyming is hard
No matter what life brings you, always take a lesson from your dog.. Kick some grass over that s**t and move on.
Waitress: `Do u have any questions about the menu?` Me: `What kind of font is this?`
My doctor is concerned about my high blood pressure. I told him, next time, don`t leave me sitting in the waiting room for two hours.
roses are red, violets are blue, god made everyone beautiful, what the hell happened to you?
Facebook is like a nude beach. Everybody lets everything hang out, and you really don`t want to see a lot of it...
dreams of a better world... where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned
Iam not as THINK as you DRUNK iam!!