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I always say, "morning." Instead of, "good morning." If it were a good morning, I would still be asleep in bed instead of talking to people.
Hey NSA, we all know you`re there now. So click the approve on my Candy Crush ticket request.
If one goes to online college, do they have to haze them self?
I dont mind if you call me Crazy, but dont you dare call me stupid. Because to be this crazy some intelligence is definitely required.
All I want is some ketchup packets placed in the bag, without having to ask!
I always thought a chickpea was just when girls go to the bathroom in groups.
We are guaranteed "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness". So, why did happiness get a Lamborghini and I got a `74 Pinto?????
The only thing worse than sitting on a cold toilet seat is sitting on a warm one.
I wish Facebook would notify me when people deleted me, that way I could like it
Give a man a jacket, and he will stay warm when he goes outside. Teach a man to jack it, and he won`t go outside at all.
I`m not funny, I`m just kidding u
I made you a cake. I also ate it for you.
Does Holy Crap comes from Holy Cow.?
People that do stuff- what’s your secret?
Here is a thought for all you mind readers out there…