Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Wouldn’t it be great to hear a priest say “been there, done that” in reply to your confessed sins?
Shout out to all the kids who could never find their name on souvenir keychains and license plates. That sh!t hurt.
To all my friends who post Controversial, Obscene, Dirty, Offensive, and Derogatory posts, .. Keep that sh!t up. I like it....
I applied for a government job today and accidentally sent the wrong resume. This early display of incompetence should work in my favor.
I can’t believe it’s 2012 and there is still no fold button on my dryer.
Where does Peter Pan have his lunch? At Wendy`s.
Why are clothes so expensive? I shouldn`t have to pay so much to not be naked. Other people should pay me not to be naked.
Since it is the day to give thanks, I would like to say once again...you`re welcome.
Life advice: Enjoy the f*ck out of it. It`s that simple.
You’d be more impressed with me if you never met anyone else.
Women say they want a guy who can make them laugh. I`d probably have done better if they`d specified that they didn`t mean by tickling.
If I ever had to run for my life, I would probably die.
"It`s not you, it`s me." -Twins looking at some family photos.
Before I stalk someone, I follow them around for a while...Cause you know, what if they`re not worth it?
Shout out to the single lady I saw buying a bunch of Duracell batteries on Valentine`s Day.