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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Benefits of dating me: 1. You`re the smart one
Yes I walked away mid-conversation. You were boring me to death and my survival instincts kicked in.
How come know-it-alls don`t know how annoying they are?
Whenever I`m out somewhere there is a 99% chance I am thinking about going home and sleeping.
Oh well, this time isn`t going to procrastinate itself.
It`s going to be so disappointing if we ever ask aliens about crop circles and they`re just like, "We really hate corn."
hearing that Jesus loves you is very nice unless you`re in a Mexican prison
Next time some one does something REALLY stupid, just smack them and say, "Man, did you see the size of that bug?"
I wonder where superman changes now that there are no more phone booths
I don`t let my friends do stupid things... ALONE
I`ve never been a fan of multi-tasking or quite frankly regular tasking.
7 billion people on this planet and I can`t find one who doesn`t annoy the f*ck out of me.
Does this couch I`m laying on make me look unmotivated?
Ask.com is useless............they have no idea where I put my car keys either
Can you LIKE this status with your elbow? (no cheating)