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That awkward moment when your screen freezes on a really embarrassing website
I don`t just sing in my shower, I perform.
Chasing your dreams is hard... especially when that damn alarm keeps going off
Hell hath no fury like your kid catching you throw away ANYTHING, EVER. I smuggle out broken crayons like a Mexican drug lord..
There is no angry way to say `bubbles.`
Yes I stalk you, but only as a friend.
Find someone who is honest, laughs when you make fun of them, and then give each other orgasms.
My life may be a mess but at least I didn`t make a harlem shake video.
I should go to sleep but the Internet needs me.
Roses are red and sometimes they`re thorny, when I think of you, I get really ...............
I`ve officially met everyone`s mother yesterday via Facebook so I`m pretty sure that takes me out of the friend zone here ladies
Marriage...betting someone half your stuff you`ll love them forever.
Google maps should have a “Scenic!” route option for when we’re not in a hurry and just want to enjoy the ride.
are you free tomorrow ?! no I am f**king expensive !!
People don`t call each other jive ass turkey enough nowadays.