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Sex with human, ok. Sex with cow, not ok. Grabbing cow titty, ok. Grabbing Karen in accounting`s titty, not ok. Apparently.
In a weird twist,,, The longer I stay at home,,, The more homeless I look.
Marriage tip: Don`t
It’s impossible to bring up life insurance with your spouse without it seeming like you plan to have them whacked.
Which nipple does the red jumper cable go on? Asking for a friend.
This week’s weather forecast: Sweaty underboobs.
How do people dumb enough to buy $500 sunglasses make enough money to buy $500 sunglasses?
How am I supposed to get any work done with all this work I have to do?
Know why girls cross their arms when they`re angry? Boobs. Just a little reminder of who`s in charge around here.
Is it the S or the C that`s silent in scent?
If you get angry, just relax, take a deep breath and count to ten, unless you`re angry about oxygen and numbers.
People keep thinking that I care ... Wierd.
When you are dead, you don`t know you are dead. It`s pain only for others. It`s the same thing when you are stupid.
Just because nobody complains doesn`t mean all parachutes are perfect.
Sometimes I wonder if I could get away with murder, but then I remember I can’t even eat pancakes without getting syrup all over me.