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The only correct answer to "Are you ticklish?" is "I will kill you."
Ya know those scenes where the guy shoves everything off the table and throws a woman on it yeah I`ve only done that with pizza
Women have a lot more experience dealing with bloodstains than men. Men are convicted of murder a lot more than women. Coincidence?
Flash mobs are so not what I thought. Now I`ve gotta go find my clothes.
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
I changed my name in my daughters phone to God...just texted her and said "I saw that"
The funny moment when a fat kid says "that`s how I roll".
My relationship status? Last night, in the elevator, I told a girl she had nice shoelaces.
I am so clever sometimes I don`t even understand what I`m saying.
This woman just flipped me off and I couldn`t agree more.
So people buy cookie dough and bake it?.... What the hell?
A cop just pulled me over and said papers - so I said scissors, I win and drove off.
I`m thinking one of us should probably break the news to the phone book makers that there`s this thing called Google now
"It`s not about who`s right or wrong."~ The person that is wrong
Apple is looking to expand its market share among Latinos. No word yet on the release date of their newest device, the iCaramba.