Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Really had my heart set on waking up rich today.
It may look like I’m in deep thought, but 99% of the time I’m just thinking about what food I’m going to eat later.
Email: 8 character min, including 1 upper, 1 lower, 1 number, 1 special character. ATM card: 4 numbers
Most advanced telescopes use mirrors so we really have no way to know how many vampires are in space
Just once I’d like to see someone dropkick the guy grinning and waving behind the news reporter.
I don’t know how Godzilla doesn’t hurt himself. I once had to go to the emergency room after stepping on a Lego piece.
It took me quite some time to be this good a procrastinator
"There`s strength in numbers" I whisper to my 9th slice of pizza.
In case I drink too much and pass out for a while, Happy New Year you guys.
You say illegal, I say added to my bucket list.
I bet the guy at the urinal next to me is now rethinking his decision to wear flip flops today.
We can put laser-equipped robots on Mars, but wrinkled dollar bills still don’t work in vending machines?
You`d think by episode 133 the Scooby Doo gang would know it`s a guy in a costume every time.
So the Boy Scouts are going to let girls join. Teenage boys and girls camping in the woods together. What could possibly go wrong?
I wish "You idiot" was an appropriate way to end a work email.