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Working from home means I save money on train tickets and pants, but spend more on vodka and pizza.
It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
Waiter: Would u like ur coffee black sir? Me: What other colors do u have?
How come "you`re a peach" is a complement but "you`re bananas" is an insult? Why are we allowing fruit discrimination to tear society apart?
Women are like squirrels, very cute from a distance but will fight like hell when you try to pick them up and get them in your car.
I meant to make you a rum cake but somehow I made you a plain cake and now Iām drunk.
Fun Fact: For the cost of a dozen red roses, you could also get a dozen beers and a dozen wings at happy hour. Prob even pay for parking too
Who cares, WTF, OMG, so inappropriate, HOLY HELL ! Good LORD, not another selfie...WHOA NELLIE, NO, NO, and HELL NO!!! Me before unfriending someone.
I don`t think boredom gets enough blame for the trouble it causes.
People are so weird. You reach under the bathroom stall to tie their shoes and they freak out instead of saying thanks.
So when is this `old enough to know better` suppose to kick in ?
I might wake up early and go running but I also might win the lottery the odds are about the same
My credit card company called. They want me to leave home without it.
If my house is clean, it means that Facebook is not working.
In case I drink too much and pass out for a while, Merry Christmas you guys.