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I hit a new low today and used a cheat code on Wii Fit
I`d say I`m not a morning person but I`m really not sure I`m an evening person either.
My trust issues began when there was no donkey in Donkey Kong.
is frickin awesome! Nough Said.
If the conversation gets too serious and uncomfortable, take your pants off.
When my friends ask me to babysit, I ask if the kid is a "mean drunk" or a "happy drunk." Gets me out of it every time.
Sometimes I like to hold the door for people who are far away so they feel obligated to run just a little. ;)
Why haven’t we just found someone ballsy enough to dress up as Mrs Bigfoot and catch him already?
"Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas."
We need to DETACH from all this technology and live life in the moment. Sent from my iPhone
Whenever someone asks me to sign their cast, I always like to write: "Last warning, you have a week to get the rest of the money together."
When I think of a SELFIE, I`m not sure it`s the same thing you`re thinking of...
Men also have feelings. For example, we can feel hungry.
Onion rings are vegetables. And the Large size counts as two servings.
Lisa has 750 friends on Facebook. A week later she adds 150 more to her friends list. What does she have? Answer-Big Boobs