Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Ended a relationship today. Don`t worry, it wasn`t mine.
The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, that`s just science.
Apparently, “I had an interview with a better company” is not an acceptable reason for being late for work.
Some people should be very grateful I don`t have mob connections.
It only takes 2 ingredients to make a baby. Does that not blow your mind. Like at least there should be some flour or something.
Ways to die: Steal my food.
If A-B-C-D didn’t drag out their part of the Alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to be so rushed.
I can`t wait for Taylor Swift to break up with a black guy, so she can write a rap album!
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific
Trying to understand women is like trying to smell the color 8.
just bought 400 copies of Hoarders: Season 1. Not sure what to do with them.
I hate it when someone turns the light on while I`m sleeping and I`m like O_-
Don`t get out of bed, it`s a trap.
Excuse me sir, where do you keep the "Whoomp"? Oh, there it is.
If life gives you melons, you may be dyslexic.