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Well, if you count Elmer Fudd singing "Kill the Wabbit" then yes, I do like opera.
Person: You`re blocking the view. Me: B!tch, I am the view!
Be careful, there is also plenty of mentally unstable fish in the sea.
As the day goes on, coworkers start appearing more flammable.
Guuuyyyysssss, never ever play leapfrog with a unicorn.... Its not worth it.....
Life`s tough. It`s tougher if you`re stupid...
If I gave you a penny for your thoughts I`d totally be expecting some change back.
Go buy a burrito, leave it in your fridge, get drunk, come home and be your own best secret admirer.
Well it’s time to go from sitting on my office chair, to sitting in traffic, to sitting on my couch. I’m very skilled at sitting.
These energy drinks make sitting on the couch so much more exciting.
Scent is the sense most tied to memory. "Common" is the sense least tied to people.
Everyday I fall in love with you more and more. Except yesturday, yesturday you were pretty f*cking annoying.
I`m tired of hearing about Republicans this and Democrats that. For Christ`s sake people, don`t you realize on July 15th the Twinkie comes back?!?!?!?!
Happy 4th of July ! ... It`s a holiday. You know what that means... Ten million status updates saying the exact same thing. Get ready.
Pro tip: Go the the gym on one of those 1 day free passes, take 365 selfies then post one every day.