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My level of sarcasm is to the point where I don`t even know if I`m kidding or not.
Don`t be afraid to laugh at yourself you could be missing out on the joke of the century.
You can`t fix stupid but you can divorce it
It’s hard to get a lot done when you’re busy having a snack every 15 minutes
I hide from people too, so I get it bigfoot, I get it.
Wine with crackers and cheese is basically just the classy version of beer and nachos.
When you upload photos to Fb, i`d appreciate it if you tagged your hot friends ... It makes stalking them MUCH easier, thank you!
Sometimes when I wave my hands in the air, I actually do care.
I don’t repeat gossip, so listen carefully
Why is it called stealing when your WIFI is trespassing in my house?
Taking your pants off is a good way to let someone know you feel comfortable in their home.
If Starbucks delivered, I would be a morning person.
The problem with rich people is I`m not one of them.
“Shit ton” is my favorite unit of measurement.
“Until death do us part,” means we will all be single in heaven, right?