Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"Just be yourself" doesn`t work if you suck.
Just got back from a vacation in Nevada...turns out that money can by you love.
My wife is so annoying. "Do you think I`m sexy? Am I hot? How gorgeous am I? Do I have a nice ass?" I just want her to answer me.
I used to wonder what it was like to read people’s minds. Then I got a Facebook account and I got over it.
That amazing moment when you smack the remote and it actually works!
One thing I`ll never understand is alcohol free wine
Some mornings it`s best just to fill the sink with coffee, dunk you head in, and suck.
you know that awkward moment when you think someone`s talking to you so you reply to them and then they look over at you with that disgusted facial expression that says "wtf ..no"
I got in touch with my feminine side today... I made myself a sandwich.
I saw a spider in my bathtub. So I took a tissue and very, very carefully, burned the house down.
A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.
Vodka: Taking you from a 6 to a 10 in five easy shots
Currently training for when they inevitably make drinking an Olympic sport.
Every so often you come across a person who always smiles no matter what, that person is the reason why random bitch slaps should be a thing
In life you will meet all sorts of people, happy, moody, shy, loud, weird, and then there`s me So deal with it mmuhaaaaaaaahaaahaaaa that`s right !