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I hope Mexico doesn`t raise the cost of Tequila to pay for this wall.
Kiss me I`m Irish, put a little tongue in it, I`m French too
The home cooked pizza box says to cook the pizza between 14 and 16 minutes. That`s 15 minutes, right? I`m not reading too much into it?
You know you`re up really late at night when you turn on ESPN and 2 white guys are boxing!
Just used the "f word" over on FB so I`m waiting for the villagers with their torches, axes, whatever those people use.
someone told me I am immature and need to grow up ... so guess who is not allowed in my snow fort!!!
Life is not like a box of chocolates. Its more like a jar of jalapeños, what you do today can burn your a$$ tomorrow
If you think I wrote this status update in the nude, you`re wrong. I`m wearing a sombrero and a candy necklace.
It`s so nice to come home and relax with Facebook after a long day at the office being on Facebook.
I just kicked a can in my driveway and somehow ended up with a goal against Brazil.
Fun Things to do : Commenting “not your best” on everybody’s selfies.
I love how television has redefined the word `marathon` to the exact opposite of physical exercise
Forgotten pocket money is the best!
Life is like a bowl of soup; you only get blown if you’re hot.
Being married is like having the freedom to do whatever your wife tells you.