Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It`s like nobody ever considers the consequences of getting to know me.
I hate it when I`m in a crowded elevator and yell out "GROUP HUG!" and people look at me all weird and stuff.. Making friends is hard.
My ex wife claims I have "commitment issues" like I didn`t just wait in line for 30 minutes to get a hot dog at Costco.
How do amish girls know if its a romantic candle lit dinner or just a regular candle lit dinner.
Wednesday, you’d be a lot cooler if you were Friday night.
I saw a fat lady with a "M.O.B." tattoo on her arm. I asked "money over B*tches?" She said "No, McDonalds over Burger King.
No pornhub I do not want to share this video with my friends & family on Facebook
Girls are funny creatures. They hate it when you ask their age but will kill you if you forget their birthday.
Bad news, guys. Throwing a cat through a wall doesn`t make a funny, cat-shaped hole
They say that you are what we eat. This means that I am cheap, easy and ready in 2 minutes!
They say money talks, mine just waves goodbye.
An egg salad is really just a chicken salad that is really underdone.
There is no such things as ghosts. I know, I asked Santa Claus
And remember friends, condoms aren`t always protective....my friend was wearing one and he fell down the stairs
Are you still bored? Head over to Walmart, take a box of condoms to the checkout clerk, and ask where the fitting room is.