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This status was brought to you by me being bored on the toilet.
Monday is like canned spinach...I can can deal with it but I`d prefer something else.
I sometimes goto Starbucks for coffee and tell them my name is Bueller ... Then leave before my coffe is ready
It`s ok computer, I go to sleep after 20 minutes of inactivity too.
Do you ever get bored on the internet and then grab your phone to see what the other, smaller internet is up to?
You laugh because I´m different. I laugh cause I just farted!
The road to hell is paved with good intentions Note to self...avoid good intentions at all costs.
My little brother just told me I looked stoned as hell. Which is a little weird, considering I don`t have a little brother...
Shall I compare thee to a Summer`s Eve? For thou art a douche.
Glad McDonald`s don`t serve hotdogs, I don`t think I could order a McWeiner with a straight face.
Though we made many advancements in society, sadly, pimpin’ STILL isn’t easy.
When you leave store without buying anything and all you can think is `keep calm, you`re innocent`.
There are plenty of fish in the sea, but I like women.
In other news millions of facebook user suddenly got their law degree
I party until the taxi with the pretty red and blue lights picks me up.