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I find you`re total lack of ambition is inspiring.
Guess when toothpaste was invented? 1892. Guess when kissing was invented? A DISGUSTINGLY LONG TIME BEFORE THAT.
Facebook: Saving us money on birthday cards since 2004
This Crazy Weather Makes Me Want To Masturbate Furiously!!!
Sometimes “Girl`s night out” means she has just taken her bra off
I`ve been told that I never take responsibility for anything, and it`s all your fault.
Always be yourself, unless you can be Batman, always be Batman.
May the bridges I burn light the way.
I’m not the friend you put on speaker phone.
All my friends are getting married and having kids or getting really good at video games.
Just shaved my legs for the first time since October...just kidding, it`s not warm enough for that yet.
Don`t have sex man, it leads to kissing and pretty soon you will have to start talking to her..
are you free tomorrow ?! no I am f**king expensive !!
I spent the first 20 minutes of 2014 looking for the remote.
The point is... Is Imma hug you like a panda nd you`re gunna like it.!(: