Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
School taught me a lot of stuff, but the most useful was how to get ready in 15 minutes
I have been left unsupervised yet again. This usually leads to trouble & other bad things, please have bail money ready and keep your phone on.
Days are short in December but spending them with family really stretches them out.
Steve Jobs` text was meant to say: "I reign as CEO of Apple" Iphone autocorrect strikes again!
Soul mates are people with the mutual understanding that no one else will put up with their sh!t.
I`m at my best mathematically when I wake up before the time my alarm is set for
That awkward moment when you’re yelling at someone and you mess up a word.
I plan on being up really late tonight making voodoo dolls for, well, nevermind, you will know who you are soon enough
Having sex is like doing FRACTIONS... It`s IMPROPER for the larger one to be on top.
I bet cats are mad they can’t sit on televisions anymore.
The only toys I was allowed to play with in the tub were the dirty dishes.
Let’s be the generation that stops putting things in our butts and having to go to the emergency room to get them taken out, shall we?
Nothing`s more embarrassing than that pantsless walk to get more toilet paper. I felt like everyone in CVS was staring at me.
If I die, bury me with fire extinguishers. Because: Hell
I’m glad to know that we will never have to worry about a lack of weathermen. I mean, I know at least a couple dozen on Facebook.