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Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat.
What thinks the unthinkable? An itheberg.
There`s a certain age where you can no longer use the term "Good girl gone bad". It`s more like "Her old a$$ should know better"
5 years ago I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date, today I asked her to marry me ... She said no both times
Seeing a spider isn`t a problem. It becomes a problem when the spider disappears.
Is "blowjob" one word or two words? God I hate writing thank you cards. -Bfanch
If by “clubbing” you mean eating club sandwiches then yeah I’m pretty into the club scene.
Every load of laundry that I wash, dry, fold, and put away makes nudists seem less crazy.
I was told there would be kool-aid.
Waking up everyday seems a little excessive.
All I ask for is a chance to prove money can`t make me happy.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong...and a Tax is a fine for doing well
There`s a thin line between "I should write a status about that" and "I should talk to my therapist about that"....
Coffee shops should have a separate line for people who are late for work.
I went frisbee golfing today. I didn`t get an ace, but I did hit a guy and that was just as satisfying.