Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I wish I had a friend like me
I`m still kinda pissed that they never did tell us how to get to sesame street
Dear Santa, I was framed!
DAMN! I`m so drunk that I cooked a pizza for 450 minutes at 15 degrees.
Whenever someone says to me, "Oh, you look so familiar, where do I know you from?" I like to respond with, "Do you watch porn?"
When I hear someone say, "chicken pot pie," I get excited three times.
A computer losing its internet access is the equivalent of a car running out of gas, both become useless.
So, I hear Colorado`s population has increased 420%.
Zombies only eat brains. You’re safe.
I only like clicky pens when I am the clicker.
Gambling addiction hotlines would do so much better if every fifth caller was a winner.
People say laughter is the best medicine, but I’d like to think a beer is the way to go.
I swear, if one more person calls me an alcoholic they are getting a high five too.
They say do what you love & the money will follow. I love doing nothing. We`ll see.
My school always awarded dictionaries to the spelling bee winners. Which was weird because it should actually be awarded to the losers.