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I`m trying to save up enough money to one day afford to save up money.
I hate it when I put on my apple bottom jeans and cannot find my boots with da fur!!
For the record when I was a kid I never wanted to be an adult.
I spend 90% of my time at the gym choosing the right song for my workout.
All shoes are technically buy one get one free...
I`ve learned more from one season of "Shark tank", than I ever learned in four years of buisness school.
When one door closes, another opens ... I had a Chevette that was like that.
This police sketch artist has no idea that he`s about to draw me as the most bad ass Batman caricature ever.
A word to the wise ain`t necessary - it`s the stupid ones that need the advice!
God knew that there would be times that a single middle finger wouldn`t be enough.
Please pray for the people still playing Farmville on Facebook.
Not to brag, but I’m pretty good in bed. I don’t snore or steal covers, and I only pee if something startles me.
If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you... I would start thinking about you.
Bad news, guys. Throwing a cat through a wall doesn`t make a funny, cat-shaped hole. jk
If I’ve learned anything from these ghost hunter shows, it’s that everyone speaks English after they die.