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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Smelling another person should be a choice. Just sayin’
She asked me for time and distance. I guess she wants to calculate velocity.
I think ugly people have children just to prove to everyone they had sex.
All this time I thought Bi-Polar was a big white bear with no sexual preference.
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn`t concentrate.
They`ve got this brand new machine at the gym. I only used it for about an hour because I started to feel sick, but it`s awesome - it`s got Mars Bars, KitKat Chunkys, Cheetos, crisps.... everything!
havung sex in a elevator is wrong on so many levels....no mattet what floor your on
It`s time to wave goodbye to winter. Guess what finger I`ll be using?
We`re shutdown, but not `stop collecting taxes` shutdown. - the government
The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake it then you`ve got it made!
I don’t understand shark movies I mean just get out of the water.
Know your customer. Think like an idiot.
Do you think the inventor of the USB will be buried twice? The 2nd time because they put him in the wrong way?
I`d get lost less frequently if GPS would say "no, your other left."
I`ve got worms !!!! ......... worms in me garden