Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
All I`m saying is if guys were meant to make them, they`d be call sandWIZARDS.
Love is grand. Divorce is 100 grand.
Every time I see a preview for Hoarders, I grab the closest thing to me and immediately throw it away.
Get real. No one’s going to form a single line if the building’s on FIRE.
Next time a stranger talks to me when I`m alone I will look at them shocked and just quietly whisper.... "You can see me?"
I go on dates just to remind myself that being single is awesome.
Say what you want about Captain Hook, but he ran that entire pirating operation singlehandedly.
Honestly, Officer, I wouldn`t have pulled over had I known you were just going to criticize me
Unless you tripped and smacked your face on the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.
that awkward moment when a bug or fly lands on your computer screen in your first reaction is to scare it away with the cursor.
Dear Vegetarians, Thanks for saving the good food for us.
Behind every good selfie is approximately 47 nearly identical pictures that didn`t make the cut.
I want to delete a bunch statuses, so if you guys could just message me your passwords that`d be great.
people say that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but it`s the only way I can talk to you.
You ever notice “q”, “p”, “b” and “d” is the same letter but with a different angle.