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Chuck-E-Cheese, because it`s never too early to introduce your child to poor nutrition and gambling..
If my smartphone was so smart, then why it can`t do my math homework
When I see you in hell I`ll still ignore you
I`m not everyone`s cup of tea ... I`d rather be someone`s shot of tequila away.
Life is tough. It’s even tougher if you’re stupid.
Me: Where can I find the milk? Her: Sir, this is a library. Me: *whispers* Sorry, where can I find the milk?
I’m drinking while I work out…I call it Bacardio.
Never call a woman crazy because she will say, "I`m not crazy!" and then go and do something crazy. Probably with matches.
There`s no rehab for stupid! ;P
The true definition of safe sex is having a padded headboard.
Well I made it through the day without beating anyone with a chair. I`d say my people skills are improving.
Some of us learn from the mistakes of others. The rest of us have to be the others.
Why is it never opportunity that`s knocking? Instead, it`s usually cops with a warrant...
I was going to buy my first pair of Jordans.. Until I saw the price.. So I decided to make a car payment instead!
It`s weird how many people at my office are named "Hey."