Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The further you push me away, the more I begin to enjoy viewing you from a distance.
My spirit animal is that chicken who keeps crossing the road for reasons no one can figure.
So many idiots, so few nuclear warheads....
Valentine’s Day is in 4 days so if you are secretly in love with me I suggest you reveal it now.
You will never find the right person, if you do not let go of the wrong one. Call me!
Be careful who you call friends. I`d rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies.
I don’t mind going to work. It’s that eight-hour wait to go home that bugs me.
Congratulations India on successfully orbiting a probe around Mars. I assume you`ll be opening call centers on the red planet and using fake Martian names now?
Hey Pringles, it`s time to widen the can. Your core demographic isn`t exactly thin-wristed.
What am I doing with the rest of my life? I don`t even know what I`m doing with the rest of this post...
Don`t you hate it when you`re typing something and you`re thinking about something else so then you subconsciously type what you were boobies.
I just wish the automatic paper towel dispensers were half as sensitive as the automatic flushers.
I’m so old, I can remember going through a whole day without taking a picture of anything.
It`d be nice if the married people would leave some of the single people for the rest of the single people.
There`s a thin line between "I should write a status about that" and "I should talk to my therapist about that"....