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They should turn off Netflix at 1:00am for people with jobs and no willpower....bastards
The only way you can be right in an argument with a woman is by admitting you`re wrong.
If your dog weighs less than 10lbs, it`s technically a cat
Remember way back when the only thing that was annoying on your feed were game requests?
My death bed confession is going to be epic!
I really think that Caller ID needs to be more detailed. It should say things like "Wants help moving" or "Will whine about bad relationship."
The only way I`m coming to your wedding is if you get Me a gift. You just found lifelong love, I think I deserve a blender more than you do.
why would i ever pay to go to a nascar event when i could get drunk beside the interstate and cheer for cars for free
I was going to LIKE and compliment your FB pic, but I`m not a good liar.
Today is that day where anything you read online could be totally made up. Oh, wait, that`s every day.
I’m pretty sure I could start a new life with only the crap in my car.
Living out of your car isn`t so bad if you keep telling yourself you`re "on tour"
Wonders why we can`t just all get a Long....Island Iced Tea?!?
Monday?! But, I wasnt even finished with Saturday yet.
It’s not my fault God gave you boobs to stare at.