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Facebook: Saving us money on birthday cards since 2004
Grab the bull by the horns. The other end is too gross...
Women spend more time thinking about what men think than men actually spend thinking.
I hate when I´m laughing & my a$$ falls off.
Warning!! Today I will be coloring OUTSIDE the lines..
Sitting in the cinema, ready to watch the movie, then BOOM! The human giraffe sits in front of you
The first snow of spring is always the most beautiful
don`t kiss the monitor, just ask me nicely..
Don`t come to my door wanting to talk about the Lord. I don`t come to your door wanting to talk about wine and vibrators, do I?
I like to think outside the quadrilateral parallelogram.
If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.
One man’s potato is another man’s vodka.
Benefits of dating me: 1. You`re the sane one.
The easiest way to distract a woman is to show her a picture of herself.
I had lunch with a chess player yesterday. It took him 20 minutes to pass the salt.