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Teamwork is just another way of saying we will soon be sharing in the blame equally.
I want to meet myself from someone else’s point of view.
We´re responsible for most of what happens to us, the rest is probably Voodoo.
Don`t do anything you`re not prepared to explain to a paramedic...
The further you push me away, the more I begin to enjoy viewing you from a distance.
If by sexy you mean me licking the donut icing off my fingers then yes I can be damn sexy.
Studies show that 99% of Dans are not "the man."
Honking your horn won´t make them go any faster, but at least they´ll know that you´re an asshole.
Trust me ...... I can`t believe I`m still here either.
I would be a great procrastinator ... if I could ever get around to it.
I`m pretty sure even Santa wishes they would stop playing Christmas music on the radio this time of year.
When a man talks dirty to a woman, its sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $4.95 a minute.
I just took the "What Kind of Asshole are You?" quiz and got "The kind that posts my results on Facebook".
This ramen noodle and vienna sausage dinner taste exactly like I made the wrong career choice :(
I bet if we all threw our problems into a big pile, we’d see everyone else’s and scramble to get ours back.