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Eventually I will find Bigfoot and he will tell me all he knows about Hide & Seek.
I`m still waiting for that fairly tale scene where the animals clean everything for me.
Playing Frisbee with a five year old is amazingly similar to just running after a Frisbee.
Don`t act like your not impressed.
Just rescued a Coca Cola that was trapped in the fridge!
Have you ever had a fly or small bug land on your computer screen and your first reaction is to try and scare it with the cursor?
Most of you like waking up in the morning to see the "comments" and "likes" that your status received. I like waking up in the morning to see WTF I posted!
Me being rude: Shut the f*ck up. Me being polite: Please shut the f*ck up.
Literally saw someone get a tattoo of a camel on their toe.
Health insurance is rare for exotic dancers. Most strippers have little or no coverage.
The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.
Love your enemies; after all, you made them!
My husband picks fights with me like he doesn`t even value half of all his assets.
Being fabulous all day makes me really, really tired.
Success is like a fart. It only bothers people when it`s not their own.