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Yes, your opinion matters ... But not to me.
People treat New Year’s like some sort of life changing event. If your life sucks today, it’s probably still going to suck tomorrow
Nice try, blocked number but I don`t even answer the phone for people I know.
Rubix cubes are EASY....when you`re color blind.
Flight to Vegas...guy in front of me has a bouquet made up of dollar bills. Pro Tip: That stripper will never marry you bro.
The best part about a vacation to England is that my wife won`t need to adjust her driving.
I know you`re the instructor but I`ve seen Ghost 47 times so I know for a fact this IS how pottery is made!
All the coffee beans in South America can`t make me a morning person.
I just want a reason to dramatically slide across the hood of a car.
When a couple asks me for directions,I know that the wife is forcing the guy to ask.That`s why I give them wrong ones to teach her a lesson.
I’m amazing in bed. I have the ability to stay there all day.
I can’t believe that all these “single ladies in my area” want to meet me, must be due to all the “free Ipads” I’ve been winning.
My wife and I have been happily married for two years. 1997 & 2004
If each day is a gift, I wonder where I can return monday.
That annoying moment when a package says "easy open" and you need scissors, a knife, a gun, and a lightsaber just to open it.