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I need me a pretty girl with an ugly girl personality
No children were harmed in making this status. Ignored perhaps, but certainly not harmed…
The realization you`ve spoken too loudly when you exclaimed: " My Salad had NUTS!"
My last relationship was a lot like The Notebook. It felt like it lasted forever and we both wanted to die towards the end.
Today I seek some truth and fulfilment but I’ll settle for some bacon.
I`m a wealth of knowledge ... Unless you want it to be true, then I`m pretty solid on about 6 topics ... 2 of those might just be Doritos flavors
All my bills say "outstanding", I guess that means I`m good to go!
You took the time to make your minivan look like a reindeer, but you can`t take one second to hit the turn signal an inch from your fingers?
is wondering why Facebook bothers to give the option of "liking" my own comment? Of course I like my own comments. I´m awesome..
When I was your age, we had to walk ten miles in the snow to get drunk and have s€x.
My favorite Yoga Pose is the Upward Facing Couch Potato.
For all we know, half the birds are telling the other birds to shut up.
One day I shall rule the World! Until then, I am going to bed. Good Night :D
I dream about naps.
My butt decided to go big instead of go home.