Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You`re only limited by your own imagination! And money. And talent. And genetics. And time. And other people. Go for it!
lol <- looks like a stick man drowning. lol
Don`t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.
I replaced the spare tire in my car with a box of wine. I`ve no idea how to change a tire, & I bet I`ll need a drink as I wait for a ride.
I`m "keeps a pair of underwear in the glove box because I don`t trust my farts anymore" years old.
Know the rules well so you can break them effectively.
I get a little nervous before saying Worcestershire sauce.
I made a New Years Resolution to gain 20 lbs, so I can relish in the sense of accomplishment and success!
You may think it`s bad grammar but I assure you it`s just laziness.
In case I drink too much and pass out for a while, Happy New Year you guys.
Condoms prevent minivans.
I`m starting to think that all those hours in school, when I practiced writing my autograph, was just a waste of time.....
Don’t expect a “bless you” after the 4th sneeze…get your self together
I`m so fresh they call me "ferbreeze"
Always carry a knife. You never know when cake might happen.