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I propose we change the names of the upper case P and lower case p to "P standing up" and "p sitting down."
All sex is safe sex if you keep your bright orange reflective vest on.
Mosquito (noun) - Mother Nature`s way of getting you to slap yourself.
Oh well, this time isn`t going to procrastinate itself.
I`m not always rude. Sometimes I`m sleeping.
It`s not often you see a pink poo in your bowl & realize that not everything is edible from the sex shop
Just saw a commercial for weight gainer pills. Have the people with this "problem" not heard of pizza and alcohol?
Juicing changed my life. I went from being overweight, to being overweight and owning a juicer.
"If your father asks you to pick up 5 large bags of ice, the best place to put them is in the backyard in direct sun" ~ My son apparently
Man: "You look nice today..." Woman: "Was I ugly yesterday?"
It`s not that I CAN`T be good, it`s that I`m SOOOOO much better at being BAD!!!
I remember the days when I could refer to my knees as right and left. Now I refer to them as the good and bad knee.
I started drinking a little early. Yesterday, to be more precise.
Don`t sell yourself short, in fact, don`t sell yourself at all. I`m pretty sure it`s illegal
Sometimes I wonder if the kid in the Dreamworks logo has caught a fish yet.