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Remember years ago when we didn`t have facebook and we had to take pictures of our food and get the film developed at the chemist get all your friends round your house and show them what you have been eating ...the good old days
someone took my mood ring away... dont know how i feel about it
My three biggest fears are mouses, wolfs & proper pluralization.
You know you`ve picked the right friends if no one has nominated you for the ice bucket challenge
$5.99 Trojan condoms or $19.99 Huggies diapers. Choose wisely...
"Is that for here or to go?" —Real estate agent selling a mobile home
I got in the shower with my slippers still on this morning. Is this the start of dementia or the continuum of stupidity I wonder?
Roses are red, violets are blue, sandwiches are tasty, rhyming is hard
The songs I like always come on when I’m supposed to be getting out of my car.
I always like seeing those "Baby on Board" stickers because it`s nice to see agreeable babies out there.
The internet...turning cowards into tough guys daily.
I didn`t fall. The floor just needed a hug.
If I could have sex with anyone, living or dead, I would for sure pick living.
Saw A bumper sticker that said "Fat People Are Harder To Kidnap" not sure if he was a proud fat man or a disgruntled kidnapper though.
I use my imagination to solve problems. And by imagination, I mean booze.