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is cuddling up with a good book and a cup of tea. Ah, who am I kidding... I´m looking at Hustler and having a beer.
If you are being attacked by a bunch of clowns the first thing to do is go for the juggler.
Restaurant Advertisement: We serve food as HOT as your neighbour’s wife; And beer as COLD as your own. :)
If it hurts when you pee, urine trouble.
Things I hate about work: 1. Waking up 2. Humans 3. Working
Your just jealous because u don`t hear the voices.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don’t be mad, I’ll be there too. Not in the cage but laughing at you.
My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldn`t walk to the donut shop.
Do you ever just sit there and think “why am I not rich”?
If no one comes from the future to stop you, than how bad of a decision can it really be.
October is breast awareness month for women, men are usually aware of breasts all year round.
I`m in big trouble if my coworkers find out I don`t really have Tourette`s.
One small step for man one giant step for a really small man
Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I`m driving.
Every day is St. Patrick`s Day when you`re a drunk who likes to pinch people.