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Word on the street is... Lol. Jk. I don`t go outside.
So, basically Alexa is just some know-it-all with no actual job skills.
So, if I lie to the government, it’s a felony. But if they lie to me its politics?
Mistakes married men make: 1. Doing things. 2. Not doing things. 3. Thinking about doing things. 4. Not thinking about doing things.
From now on, all of my posts will be written in Morgan Freeman`s voice. Please re-read this one to make sure it`s working.
I think I’m allergic to mornings.
It only takes a second to show someone how you feel. The police call it “Indecent Exposure” but whatever.
The coolest tourist attraction in the world is the Sistine Chapel, because it`s full of ceiling fans.
When I say I like to travel, I really just mean I like to get drunk in different places.
Girls just wanna have funds.
The moment when someone says a word and everyone laughs, including you and then someone goes, "Do you know what that means?" and you go "No, not really."
Few people have the balls to admit when they`re wrong. Then again, few people have talking balls.
I do this thing called "Whatever The F*ck I Want".
Can you make garlic bread out of frozen waffles? Asking for someone who wishes they had remembered garlic bread at the store.
The trick to farting in an elevator is wearing a suit. No one ever suspects the guy in the suit.