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Omg!! got 6 numbers on the Lotto.. and the stupid machine didn´t pick any of them
Normal trees probably look at Christmas trees all dolled up and think .. "Whore"
DATING TIP: Any time someone is hot and you`re too scared to approach them, remind yourself that they`ve probably had diarrhea at some point
I can still remember a time when I knew more than my phone
Is it rude to throw a breath mint in someone`s mouth while they are talking?
The problem with some people is that they`re breathing.
Don`t be sad laundry, nobody`s doing me either.
My life has a great cast, but I can’t figure out the plot.
I just found out that a bucket of KFC when you`re finished with it, also doubles as a porta-potty...
If you go shopping at Walmart and no one stares at you as you walk by, you`re one of them.
i like cake. and thats all for today goodbye :)
Life advice: Enjoy the f*ck out of it. It`s that simple.
I was wondering why my doctor gave me LSD for my constipation, then I saw a dragon and crapped myself.
Due to the rise in the economy, the position 69 will now be 96, due to the higher cost of eating out.
I just had Déjà vu...and you were an asshole both times.