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That awkward moment when You accidentally hit the LIKE button During Facebook stalking.
Stress balls work really well when you shove them down someone`s throat.
How do I like my eggs? ... Umm in a cake.
It`s never too late to follow your dreams. Unless your dream is to be a child actor, in which case yes, it`s too late.
The problem with working from home is the absence of sexual harassment.
I never said I hated you. I just said that if you where on fire, I would consider roasting marshmallows. Big difference.
However lonely you feel, you`re never alone. [There are literally millions of bugs, mites and bacteria living in your house.] Goodnight.
I was planning to do something today, but I haven’t finished doing nothing from yesterday.
I can`t wait to be rich so I can price things from high to low instead of low to high when shopping online.
I`m sorry. I know I said hi, but I wasn`t really prepared for any follow-up conversation.
Internet went down so I had to spend time with my family. They seem like good people.
My Life Alert bracelet says.....: I`m Just Napping
Dating Tip: Find a partner with a compatible phone charger.
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
If you have time to update your status as "very busy", then you obviously exaggerated.