Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
finally got my certification in the mail, I`m officially insane.
Does anyone have the owner’s manual for a wife? Mine’s emitting a terrible whining noise.
Im going to a parking lot and put sticky notes on people`s cars saying "sorry for the damage." Then watching the magic.
Why doesn’t The Rock just tell us what he’s cooking? I can’t pair wines like this.
Well, I`m really not sure what my spirt animal is but I`m sure it looks like road kill right about now.
Tired of those Political Ads on television?...... You may be entitled to compensation.
I`d like to read an obituary that says "He laid down the boogie and played that funky music till he died."
Hangman was my favorite childhood learning game that promoted hanging someone for a wrong answer.
If at first you don`t succeed, you`ll get a lot of free advice from folks who didn`t succeed either.
Every Facebook photo album could be titled either "Envy Me!" or "Pity Me!"
…and for my next trick, I will pull this dryer sheet out of my sleeve!
Every pizza is a personal pizza if you eat the entire thing.
If I was just learning English and you told me a sport called BOXING takes place in a SQUARE area called a RING, I`d probably give up.
Only 3 more days until millions of people join the gym for a week.
Every store should have one line for people who have their sh!t together.