Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Facebook game requests are like the Jehovah`s witnesses of the internet.
You know you are getting old when you see girls from TEEN category moved to MATURE & MILFS.
Pizza is my favorite winter activity
A box 5 lb. box of chocolates: $40, Valentines Day card: $3.75, not being yelled at for 35 minutes until the chocolate is gone: priceless!
When cleaning my house: 1% Cleaning 30% Complaining 69% Playing with stuffs that I just found.
Thinking about moving to Alabama just so I don’t have to scroll through all those other states when I sign up for websites.
I`m on a pepperoni pizza cleanse.
People all around the world are out doing interesting and productive things right now. You are reading this.
loves poetry, long walks and poking dead things with a stick.
A month ago I gave my number to this beautiful girl. She said "I will text you when I get home". I think she`s homeless.
IΒ΄m not insensitive, I just donΒ΄t care.
"it`s the thought that counts" doesn`t include showering. You have to actually do that.
"That`s too much bacon." -Nobody ever
"I love you unconditionally*." -God *certain terms and conditions apply. See Bible for more details.
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!