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I put the o in illiterate!
I got all my Christmas shopping done. Hope everyone likes bunny ears, ornamental grass, and discounted peeps.
Damn your Hott!...........................Freaking Sun! lmao =P
Why is it when you go to get your drivers license photo, they tell you to smile. Your not smiling when the police pull you over.
MAN LAW 101: No man should ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man.
I am the bestest at the English language...
I miss newspapers. It`s weird hitting a dog on the nose with an iPad.
I got BOMBED last night and decided to do my own taxes and guess what! I`m getting 4 million dollars back this year!
If your cup is only half full, you probably need a smaller bra.
Sorry, when I said I have the stamina of an NBA player in bed I meant I take 10 timeouts in the final 2 minutes.
You’re one of those women that my mom warned me about…Here’s my number.
You think you love your family but suddenly there`s three of you and one remaining slice of pizza.
love me or leave me,,HEY!!! where is everybody going?
I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.
When a woman asks you for your opinion all she really wants to hear is her opinion repeated word for word but in your voice.